Opium of the Soul

There are days you awake up when breathing is a chore.

You think should you pray but faith is such a whore

To needs and wants and desires of the heart

And hurts and sorrows and pain play their part.

Have you ever thought to share

People need love the way they need air.

Without love they die a little inside each day.

The flower of the soul surely wilts away.

It is the state of the few, the opium of the many.

It is the shadow of doubt to faith contrary.

It is the surrender of Self to apathy and despair.

It is the loss of heart and the will to care.

I want to be a shooting star soaring far above.

To fly and leave behind all that I called ‘Love’.

I want to sleep an endless sleep without dreaming

To fade to nothingness from a world without meaning.

I’ve read Your Books - they are but lies.

I’ve tried Your Ways - it shan’t suffice.

I’ve watched Your Will - You Called it Just.

I’ve tried to wait but You Broke my Trust.

How can I bow to You and pray, do tell;

When after a Glimpse of Heaven, there’s only Hell.

After the Promise of the Garden, you torment me so.

Tear away my Ka’bah, leave me bereft to go.

I wish I could believe there was a tomorrow.

When the sun would melt my winter of sorrow.

I wish I believed all my prayers made a difference.

But ten years is too long to have that sense.

All I ask of You is my opium of the soul.

My inadequacies laid bare, my heart is cold

To anything new and the promise of spring.

I think it a lie, the autumn it will bring.

So where’s the God that said He would Hear?

Where were the times, You Said you were Near?

All I ask is my opium of the soul.

Can’t be now, if I were so bold?

Terence Nunis