Dancing to Static

Do you even remember what it was then?

The nights were long and lonely when,

You cried alone for a beating heart,

That was dead and bleeding yet moving but,

The bed was cold and the pillow bereft.

When the dream you had was gone and left,

In the arm of another woman and the lies,

Were a river that did not cease the ‘Whys’.

He promised you a garden abode.

He took the reins of the horse you rode.

You believed him when you wore his ring.

Never knew it the prelude to suffering.

And he cheated and he lied and he did hit you,

So hard you almost lost your child.  You knew

It could not go on and then he was gone

With no trace but bills and bankruptcy and a son.

Did you remember the stories and the tales and the rumours?

And then the SMS-es and the messages and the pictures?

Of another woman and another life and another world?

You were everything less in his eyes, not a wife but a girl?

When you lay on the bed next to him crying in the dark.

When all you believed was just a dying spark.

Once you were a wanton libertine dancing to static.

A verbal machine gun on a New Age romantic.

Once you were everyone’s world

Now he was with everybody’s girl.

Once you were the belle of the ball.

Now you were discarded to fall.

And in those nights you turned to God.

The One you ignored and now you sought.

A promise on a prayer, a help and a hand.

And that was why he came to you then.

But you forgot.  Just like you did the last time.

You forgot.  Just like you do every single time.

The storm abated and the darkness is gone.

He did what he promised though the heart was torn.

He knew the ending but kept his promise to you.

And now it is over, you have forgotten twice.  He knew

The things you said when you were lonely

And a task given he could do only.

You forgot.  Just like he knew you would.

And walked away.  Just like he knew you could.

You will never understand what a mess you left behind.

That you have already lost what you could never find -

The value of a tear from the depths of a soul.  Shattered

By a callous girl who never knew worth in what truly mattered.

It was only love that made a man sacrifice all that he did share.

Though he knew you for the heartless creature who could not care.

Terence Nunis

Opium of the Soul

There are days you awake up when breathing is a chore.

You think should you pray but faith is such a whore

To needs and wants and desires of the heart

And hurts and sorrows and pain play their part.

Have you ever thought to share

People need love the way they need air.

Without love they die a little inside each day.

The flower of the soul surely wilts away.

It is the state of the few, the opium of the many.

It is the shadow of doubt to faith contrary.

It is the surrender of Self to apathy and despair.

It is the loss of heart and the will to care.

I want to be a shooting star soaring far above.

To fly and leave behind all that I called ‘Love’.

I want to sleep an endless sleep without dreaming

To fade to nothingness from a world without meaning.

I’ve read Your Books - they are but lies.

I’ve tried Your Ways - it shan’t suffice.

I’ve watched Your Will - You Called it Just.

I’ve tried to wait but You Broke my Trust.

How can I bow to You and pray, do tell;

When after a Glimpse of Heaven, there’s only Hell.

After the Promise of the Garden, you torment me so.

Tear away my Ka’bah, leave me bereft to go.

I wish I could believe there was a tomorrow.

When the sun would melt my winter of sorrow.

I wish I believed all my prayers made a difference.

But ten years is too long to have that sense.

All I ask of You is my opium of the soul.

My inadequacies laid bare, my heart is cold

To anything new and the promise of spring.

I think it a lie, the autumn it will bring.

So where’s the God that said He would Hear?

Where were the times, You Said you were Near?

All I ask is my opium of the soul.

Can’t be now, if I were so bold?

Terence Nunis